i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize