She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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