normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
