No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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