3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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