Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
