If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
