hell yes lets make some ravioli
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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