He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
