No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
