Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
