the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
