people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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