I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
smell my finger.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
