So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
