yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
