I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
