singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
