My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
