ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
