i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
When are your genitals available?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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