So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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