I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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