i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
