That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
