Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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