The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
