one might say we're banned from that church
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
