So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
