2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
