I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
