the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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