i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
