The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
