I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
