...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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