goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
