I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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