He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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