when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
