I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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