I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
