Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
