uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
