First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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