last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
