Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
