Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
