It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
