i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need moral support for this bender
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
