sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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