Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
