Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
