Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
