But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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