Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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